I don’t know about you guys, but January seemed to be two months wrapped into one. The new year is strange. I began to recognize myself feeling cynical at the start of the year. I would be lying if I said I didn’t have the thought of “what makes this year any different from the last few?” or something along the lines of “new year, same problems.” I realized I didn’t want to go into the new year with the same mindset I had leaving it. I’m definitely not what you would call a new years resolution person by any means, but I wanted to make conscientious decisions of what I wanted to work on throughout the year. For one, I decided I wanted to read 6 books this year. As a person who hasn't read 6 books for pleasure in their entire life, 6 books for the year is a huge goal. As of today, January 31st, I have already read two! “Get out of Your Head” and “It's Not Supposed to be This Way” are two incredible books I definitely recommend. I also decided I wanted to be on social media less (which by the way, also 10/10 recommend!!) find podcasts that will challenge and grow me spiritually, go on a google strike (and my husband and friends said AMEN!), and stop using ovulation strips and period apps. The last ones might strike you odd, I know. I’ve been struggling with the fact of how much of my life am I really giving over to God. I can say all day long that I trust Him and want Him to be in complete control, but how is that possible if I am going to google instead of Him? Or keeping up with my “flo” app to see where I am in my cycle. Just when you think you have given everything completely to Him, He brings into awareness areas of which you haven’t fully surrendered. As silly as it may sound, yes, it was relying on google, strips and apps for me! If you are in the same infertility journey as myself, please don’t take this as me condemning you if you track your cycle or use those means. This is just what I felt God wanted me to do in my own personal life and what I feel like He is wanting to teach me. Oftentimes we pray God will change our circumstances, but what He is trying to do is change us. Don’t miss what God is trying to do in you through the process.
I will definitely say that doing all these, I have seen a huge change in my mindset. What you absorb will absolutely consume your mind. That is why the bible states in Phillipians 4:8 “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Taking time away from social media really made me question how I choose to spend my free time. The minutes you spend scrolling through facebook, watching tiktoks, (or if you’re a millennial, probably instagram reels), and moments stalking to see if so and so is still with their significant other (guilty), is time you will never get back. I know this isn't something you’ve never heard before, but I felt convicted with how I chose to spend my free time. I am believing 2023 is going to be a phenomenal year of growth. Growth is needed in order to reach potential. Growth is something that we have to actively work on, not sit back and be passive. Growth also only happens when we are taken out of our comfort zone, and THAT is the scary part. Growth requires us to do things we wouldn't usually do. Some people think that in order to grow, you have to make massive changes. While sometimes God does require you to take huge steps of faith, oftentimes it's the little changes that we can first make that lead to the bigger changes. Instead of listening to secular music or podcasts while working out, challenge yourself to listen to worship or a faith-based podcast that will challenge you in your faith. How about instead of hopping on social media while you have a free 10 minutes, use that time to read the word or spend those 10 minutes in prayer. Small changes often lead to big results. Don’t let me lie to you and tell you that it's easy, it isn't! Growth also requires sacrifice. Spend that 15 minute drive to work praying. Take time to read books that fill you with God’s truth and challenges you to want to do more in your spiritual walk. I know I am coming off extremely positive and maybe seemingly unrealistic, but this is speaking from my own personal experience. Do I still have bad days? Just ask my husband.lol I definitely am guilty of letting my emotions get the best of me at times. Honestly if I am being truthful, more times than not. But truly, when I fixate on Jesus during those times, my faith is increased. It’s an interesting feeling to feel so deeply disappointed in your situation, while at the same time having full confidence that He is a promise keeper and will do what He said He would.
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